The Worst Shower That I Ever Had

No. Seriously. It was fucking awful.


I have been WAY too fucking busy to update this blog. I'm busting my ass to get material together for an anthology that has been far too slow in the making. Between work, life, and preparing for the move (renting a house: goodbye, apartment life) there's barely enough time to take a proper shit, let alone update my stupid wiener-face blog.

Hey, I have a laptop, now ... I can write this thing as I shit. Ha! Another problem solved.

So I had a really, really terrible shower the other day. At the YMCA. Now, sure, you might be tempted to say, "You expected to have a pleasant bathing experience at the Y? Really?" but man, this was pretty horrid. Why? Well, in the shitty little town that I live in, everything generally sucks to some degree. The YMCA is not any different. The workout facilities themselves aren't so bad, but the men's change room is small, cramped, damp and creepy. There is no room for a man to exist without being crowded by and inconvenienced with the droopy old penises of middle-aged men. In the shower room, this situation far, far worse - it's an open shower room, no stalls, with the shower heads cramped in waaaaaaay too fucking close. I have been a member of this facility for months, but this is the first time that I decided to shower BEFORE going home from there - and it will very possibly be the last. To my horror, I realized that I was going to have to cram in beside two naked, hairy men in the twilight of middle age. We were almost touching. The force of the shower spray actually coated me with a horribly intimate mixture of their soap, sweat, ball effluence and wash-water, which I then frantically rinsed off. THEN, the gentleman to my left actually raised his foot and placed it on the tap in front of him, and proceeded to soap and wash the back of his square, saggy thigh in a manner that could only be described as stripper-esque. Horrified, driven to the brink of madness, I fled from the shower room and yanked my street clothes back on with shaking hands. Good God, so nasty ...

So, that's it for now. Back to work on the anthology. "What?! " you say, indignant. "No horror story this time?" Fuck you, pal, that WAS a horror story.

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