The End is Nigh

Oh, wait, no it's not.

Every few years or so, some wingnut/a collection of wingnuts will declare that the world is about to end, due to some quasi-religious/science fiction event that is beyond our control.

Repent! The end is nigh.

Then the portended date comes and goes, and nothing happens. Don't those people feel fucking stupid after it's all said and done? Jesus, the embarrassment that they must feel ... I'd be unable to look friends or family in the face for a long, looooong time after that. I mean, fuck, just imagine - you've spent weeks, maybe months ranting at everyone that you know the truth, everyone's gonna fucking die! You quit your job, wipe out your savings to buy a pallet of emergency food and water, reinforce your windows and doors - maybe even have a teary-eyed, snot-running tantrum with your loved ones because THEY WON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!

And then ... nothing. The sun rises, and then it sets. Nothing happens.

The main thing to remember is that, at some point, you are going to die. You don't know when, or how, but you know that it will happen. So - just stop worrying about it. Live your life the best you can and fuck worrying about shit that you couldn't possibly have control over. Chill out, man...

Having said all that, here's a little story to play on your fears -


At the red light, you turn to your wife so that you can give her your undivided attention; she is telling you that Mitch has a dental appointment next Friday, a fitting for braces - you have to be early, she says, to fill out the paperwork. There is more, but now you're missing it, because something is happening behind her that has caught your attention. There is a blazing fire in the sky. No - there are many of them, and they're coming in fast.

No, you think. No, this can't be happening - no ...

But yes, it is happening, right now it's happening while your wife drones on about mundane things that are never going to take place. The balls of light are streaking in, bearing down in a deadly celestial hail that cannot be survived, and she doesn't know it yet. Can you keep her attention, so that she might die innocent of the horror you currently feel? You try the best you can; you try to smile and nod vigorously at her, but you can't take your eyes off of what is coming and now she's turning her head, she's craning around to look and she's screaming but you can't hear her and you're screaming too and the light is everythi


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