Your Blog Means Nothing, and You're a Pansy

If you call yourself a "writer", then you better start a'writin', son.


You know what I find frustrating? The online microcosm of folks that maintain shitty blogs and then call themselves writers - or, even worse, journalists. NO. BAD HIPSTER. Here, let me clarify this shit;

Anyone can get themselves a blog on a site such as this one. Like, anyone. And a fuck of a lot of folks do just that - create some sort of bullshit, narcissistic online journal, then go on to prattle endlessly about stupid, lame crap that no one could possibly ever care about. See, even I have one, as shitty-looking and ill-formatted as it is. Very few people read it, and why would they? Who gives a red fuck about what I think about any subject, at any time, under any circumstance? Nobody, that's fuckin' who. I hardly even care what  I think, for Christ's sake, why should anyone else? This blog is just a farcical vehicle to share free little short stories that I've posted on Scribd and Reddit, as well. Any opinions or supposed facts that you encounter on here are subjective and are probably somewhat retarded. I accept this; revel in it, even. However, there are a shit-fuck-ton of people out there that take their fucktarded little opinion blog waaaaaaay too seriously. Even more alarming, some of these smug little shits actually have a sizable following of like-minded douchers who read their oral bullshit faithfully. It makes me want to bite someone.

If you maintain a blog, you are not really a writer. Sorry, but this is MY opinion, on MY crappy-ass blog. You are a dude/dudette that maintains a fuckin' diary - it might be well-written and entertaining, but it's a fucking diary nonetheless. A writer writes stories: they may be works of fiction, a tale that documents some fact of reality, or a combination thereof - but a writer writes fuckin' stories. A story is, in my definition, a tale that has characters and rising action and a fucking plot of some kind. It's not a long-winded diatribe as to how X makes you feel so Y. Speaking generally, I don't care what you think and/or feel about stuff. I like fact.

There is very little fact in this blog post, and it contains absolutely none of the elements that would qualify it as a  story. If all I did on this blog was shit like this, I would not have the temerity to call myself a writer. Fortunately, I'm not lame like that. Here's all three parts of a story called, "Clean Your Life Completely!" It's a cheerful little story about the dangers of taking the easy road in life. Read this shit.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

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