It's Free Book Time Again! Yaaaay!

"Because, in my infinite wisdom, something something blah blah blah ..."

I felt like giving away books again, because I'm Crazy Grim, and down here at Crazy Grim's Apocalyptic Book Emporium we are practically just throwing books at passers-by! Come on down to, uk, de, fr, hell, all of 'em, and you'll walk away with a gin-you-when, authentic version of my book, 99 Brief Scenes From the End of the World, on your Kindle! Well I said, damn! HOT-damn! (fires six-shooters into the air)

Hey, what the hell, have a quick story:

Walking In Autumn

Sometimes, I'll take a walk out into the woods behind my house in the fall, always during the time of the season when the late afternoon sun beams like slanted lasers through leaves that are becoming thin and reedy. I walk, and I look for suitable spots where I could take someone and kill them. Not to bury them, though: oh no, not so close to my own home, hell no ... all I do is, I look for the place, the exactly right patch of perfect ground, where I can aesthetically experience the final moments of some hapless person's futile life.

Oh, I do unspeakable things to these poor souls, here in the woods behind my house ... I slice off their noses and I stab their livers, I bite chunks of skin and meat from their cheeks and bodies - I sever the tendons in behind their knees and force them to flee my knife, promising them that I will slice their rectums if I can catch them. I always catch them. I rape them all, men and women, I rape them in the dirt and dead leaves of that perfect, lovely place. I batter their skulls with a rock while I'm doing it. I do these things and I do worse, oh, such unspeakable things.

Some day, I might get caught. Maybe I never will, who knows? Until then, you might see me out here; a man wandering through the woods by himself on a gorgeous autumn day, a big man wearing faded jeans and a red lumber jacket. Smile and wave, hell, why not? I'll wave back. Just don't get too close ... because, on that particular day, I just might have found the spot.


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